I have really been trying to blog here for a loooong time now. I've given up. Blogger hates me. So I've moved to the competition. I know, I know, I said I wouldn't. But Blogger won't let me be faithful. He asked me to cheat! So I'm here now.
More Carlo.
I hope I'll be sunnier and happier on the other side and stop complaining too much.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
My new ride
This is what I really, really wanted to get:
This is what the Lord saw fit to bless me with:
I am totally grateful to the Lord for His blessings.
P.S. I hope the owner of that awesome car does not see this and think I'm a stalker. I'm not. Owner of awesome car, I'm not a stalker. I swear. I don't even have 6 more pictures of it in different angles. All from one window. Honest!
This is what the Lord saw fit to bless me with:
I am totally grateful to the Lord for His blessings.P.S. I hope the owner of that awesome car does not see this and think I'm a stalker. I'm not. Owner of awesome car, I'm not a stalker. I swear. I don't even have 6 more pictures of it in different angles. All from one window. Honest!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
How to deal with the arm of the law
Here are a few pointers on how to be a good Ugandan citizen. Which also means how to deal with traffic police without necessarily paying a bribe.
1. Lock your doors whenever you're driving around, keeping in mind that you're a little scared lady in this big scary city of Kampala.
2. When you're stopped by a traffic cop, roll down your passenger window and wait for him to ask for your driving permit.
3. Quickly realise that he's actually trying to open the door and not talk to you so unlock the doors.
4. Let him sit in your car and order you to drive around.
5. Don't apologise too much and have him wonder to you 'what kind of Ugandan are you?'
6. Keep asking for directions to Central Police Station since he mentioned that's where you were headed anyway.
7. Ask him not to stare at you too much cuz it's making you uncomfortable.
8. Pretend you don't notice him staring at your legs when your skirt has ridden up because you're driving and can't exactly adjust it.
9. Lie to him and say that you've only been in Uganda for 4 months so are not fully aware of all the rules but admit you know you committed a crime.
10. Drive past CPS like he tells you to after he's pointed it out to you and thank him for forgiving you.
11. Ask him what he means by 'fine yourself'. Here, it is best to put on your best innocent face with doe eyes and a shivering lip for greater effect.
12. Explain to him what a 'fine' is and tell him that you have no idea how the self-imposed fine would work since there should be a set amount for a fine.
13. Ask him if you'll get a receipt for 'fining yourself'.
14. Smile genuinely after he is so exasperated with you and says it's ok, just drop him off over there.
15. At this stage, the shock you are about to feel is not feigned but pretty real. He asks you, 'you're a born of where?'
16. Do not panic, do not stop, do not look at him as you just might crash into someone. Ask him nicely what language he is speaking.
17. When he elaborates and says, 'which part of the country are you from', do not, I repeat DO NOT burst out laughing and instead tell him you were born and raised in Kampala.
18. Drop him off and thank him with fluttering eyelashes and a huge smile for not punishing you.
19. Pretend you don't know what he's talking about when he keeps going on and on about what a privilege it was to be driven by such a lovely girl as you.
20. Drive off and let loose all the tension by laughing so hard you end up tearing up.
P.S. DO NOT call your friend Dee to tell her about it because it was her who got you in trouble in the first place.
1. Lock your doors whenever you're driving around, keeping in mind that you're a little scared lady in this big scary city of Kampala.
2. When you're stopped by a traffic cop, roll down your passenger window and wait for him to ask for your driving permit.
3. Quickly realise that he's actually trying to open the door and not talk to you so unlock the doors.
4. Let him sit in your car and order you to drive around.
5. Don't apologise too much and have him wonder to you 'what kind of Ugandan are you?'
6. Keep asking for directions to Central Police Station since he mentioned that's where you were headed anyway.
7. Ask him not to stare at you too much cuz it's making you uncomfortable.
8. Pretend you don't notice him staring at your legs when your skirt has ridden up because you're driving and can't exactly adjust it.
9. Lie to him and say that you've only been in Uganda for 4 months so are not fully aware of all the rules but admit you know you committed a crime.
10. Drive past CPS like he tells you to after he's pointed it out to you and thank him for forgiving you.
11. Ask him what he means by 'fine yourself'. Here, it is best to put on your best innocent face with doe eyes and a shivering lip for greater effect.
12. Explain to him what a 'fine' is and tell him that you have no idea how the self-imposed fine would work since there should be a set amount for a fine.
13. Ask him if you'll get a receipt for 'fining yourself'.
14. Smile genuinely after he is so exasperated with you and says it's ok, just drop him off over there.
15. At this stage, the shock you are about to feel is not feigned but pretty real. He asks you, 'you're a born of where?'
16. Do not panic, do not stop, do not look at him as you just might crash into someone. Ask him nicely what language he is speaking.
17. When he elaborates and says, 'which part of the country are you from', do not, I repeat DO NOT burst out laughing and instead tell him you were born and raised in Kampala.
18. Drop him off and thank him with fluttering eyelashes and a huge smile for not punishing you.
19. Pretend you don't know what he's talking about when he keeps going on and on about what a privilege it was to be driven by such a lovely girl as you.
20. Drive off and let loose all the tension by laughing so hard you end up tearing up.
P.S. DO NOT call your friend Dee to tell her about it because it was her who got you in trouble in the first place.
Monday, April 20, 2009
New Vision Rant
Sunday Magazine pays you UGx 40,000 for a 6 page article? Seriously! That really sucks. It's pointless to write for them anymore. How cheap is that? And then what was that thing of 6 pages on Obama's body man about? How is that affecting me as a person living in Uganda? So, he carries Obama's mints and pens, do I care? I know this rant isn't exactly for New Vision but for Sunday Magazine but it's the same thing. Ok, I'm done.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Replacement
You know how everyone I know (which means you don't really know but follow me still) doesn't approve of the radio stations we have? How they complain that it could be more, that radio is in fact lacking in a lot of ways. I had this rant about radio too and couldn't fail to complain about something everyday. Then I realised that my complaining was just draining my spirit and it wouldn't really change anything. And something miraculous happened, I found my mother's collection of preaching tapes from our old church days in the 90s! Since my little car has a tape deck and no CD player or any such fancy things (is someone willing to pimp out my music system in my car and add in an ipod thingie too please?), it was a really great idea to play them instead of listening to crab salad recipes. You don't know about crab salad? Let me explain.
Sanyu FM is the only station I listen to in my car because well, I like the music and I have learnt to stand the inanity of it all. But then my easy drive home was interrupted by one Jimmy Jones. Does anyone remember Irish? Can the authorities that be please pull an Irish on this Jimmy Jones? For no other reason than I can't even switch on my radio in the evenings cuz I will cause an accident from spastic motions of anger I can't control. Pr. Heintze is really soothing and relevant so I had already switched from Sanyu to him before I heard this story. Someone told me that Jimmy Jones has a show about cooking or something and for two days now he has given out nuggets of wisdom in terms of CRAB recipes. He says things like, 'you need live, fresh crabs and 8mg of them', or 'you can just walk into any of these supermarkets and ask for crabs, they have them'. I just died of laughter and breathed a sigh of relief that my lesson on God's thoughts for us was available at the time. There's my first replacement. I replaced radio with God's word. Can I hear a halleluiah?
Something awful nearly happened this morning. I almost put this blog post in my newly opened Wordpress blog! Shock! Horror! Atrocity! It's all Blogger's fault. I wanted to write about Jimmy Jones and how he should be taken off of my beloved Sanyu FM and hope that someone in the Sanyu HR department might fall on this and realise that the idea of crab salad for a relevant recipe to Ugandans is totally atrocious. It shows a lack of basic knowledge of what one is talking about, an inability to do personal research and instead pick up something that is already written and mimick it on radio. Oh how much more can I excuse my not listening to the evening drive anymore. So, can Crystal come back and I'll babysit Maxine while she talks sense to us? Anyway, I'm digressing from the matter. I meant to say that I cannot be a 'Presser' since I'm already a 'Blogger' and I like to stick to what I know. Hence my frustration with trying to sign in to my blogger account a million times (slight exaggeration) led me to open up a wordpress account and just as I was starting to type a new post, Blogger opened. I almost cheated. And I say this with my head hung in shame. I almost replaced Blogger with Wordpress. I know, I know, some of you might say the latter is the better option but I just don't want to commit to more things. Facebook, Twitter and all those things are taking up enough of my time already. So Wordpress is still there waiting just in case Blogger lets me down again.
Carpe Diem.
Sanyu FM is the only station I listen to in my car because well, I like the music and I have learnt to stand the inanity of it all. But then my easy drive home was interrupted by one Jimmy Jones. Does anyone remember Irish? Can the authorities that be please pull an Irish on this Jimmy Jones? For no other reason than I can't even switch on my radio in the evenings cuz I will cause an accident from spastic motions of anger I can't control. Pr. Heintze is really soothing and relevant so I had already switched from Sanyu to him before I heard this story. Someone told me that Jimmy Jones has a show about cooking or something and for two days now he has given out nuggets of wisdom in terms of CRAB recipes. He says things like, 'you need live, fresh crabs and 8mg of them', or 'you can just walk into any of these supermarkets and ask for crabs, they have them'. I just died of laughter and breathed a sigh of relief that my lesson on God's thoughts for us was available at the time. There's my first replacement. I replaced radio with God's word. Can I hear a halleluiah?
Something awful nearly happened this morning. I almost put this blog post in my newly opened Wordpress blog! Shock! Horror! Atrocity! It's all Blogger's fault. I wanted to write about Jimmy Jones and how he should be taken off of my beloved Sanyu FM and hope that someone in the Sanyu HR department might fall on this and realise that the idea of crab salad for a relevant recipe to Ugandans is totally atrocious. It shows a lack of basic knowledge of what one is talking about, an inability to do personal research and instead pick up something that is already written and mimick it on radio. Oh how much more can I excuse my not listening to the evening drive anymore. So, can Crystal come back and I'll babysit Maxine while she talks sense to us? Anyway, I'm digressing from the matter. I meant to say that I cannot be a 'Presser' since I'm already a 'Blogger' and I like to stick to what I know. Hence my frustration with trying to sign in to my blogger account a million times (slight exaggeration) led me to open up a wordpress account and just as I was starting to type a new post, Blogger opened. I almost cheated. And I say this with my head hung in shame. I almost replaced Blogger with Wordpress. I know, I know, some of you might say the latter is the better option but I just don't want to commit to more things. Facebook, Twitter and all those things are taking up enough of my time already. So Wordpress is still there waiting just in case Blogger lets me down again.
Carpe Diem.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Subtelties
There is this light coloured dress I like to wear and about two days ago my boyfriend says to me, 'Oh my word, did you know your dress is see through?' No I didn't. And it isn't really, just that when there's light behind me or something, you can see right through my legs. Then I remembered another time I was wearing it and I took my little cousins to Fidodido for some ice cream. I was standing at the well-lit counter picking out their flavours for them and this waitress walks up to me and starts talking to me. She steered me gently away from the counter and went on and on about how much she loves my dress and where I bought it. I kept trying to brush her off and told her I'd gotten it in India but she continued to ask how much it would be in Uganda if it was ever here and blah blah blah. I thought it was pretty weird but humoured her and continued the conversation until everyone got their ice cream and we left. So a light bulb sorta went off in my head when my boyfriend made that remark. Here's to all the subtle ladies out there. Ladies who don't bitch and hate and laugh at you but somehow try not to embarass you without your even ever knowing. I would have much prefered for her to tell me my dress was see-through against that light instead of talking non-stop but I think she did what she would have liked for anyone to do for her. Not to embarass her but help her instead. Cheers. A toast.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday Shamefulness
So, it's Thursday afternoon and I'm ashamed of myself. I'm hanging my head in shame. I missed a day in my diary! Ah well, on to happier things. :-)
Yesterday, when I walked into the office everyone's jaw dropped. I wore a dress mind you that was just an inch or two above the knees. That's not exactly kimansulo now is it? I don't get people in Uganda, you have to dress decent all the time? Just because my skirts and dresses are longer than the knees doesn't mean I can't be adventurous enough to try a sorta mini? Ok fine, fine, so it was riding up with every step I took and it was kinda form-fitting (tight to be exact) but still, it wasn't indecent. Am I protesting far too much? Sigh. I give up. I mansula'd yesterday and then I got so busy that I couldn't even open a blog to read. Imagine I didn't get to get up and walk around the office to show off like I'd planned. To make matters worse, I'd come in late and walked in on a staff meeting talking about, you guessed it, late-coming. People need to cut me a break.
I feel like I'm on pressure to 'share what's on my mind' like facebook puts it. What more is on my mind? I have nowhere to sleep tonight because my housemate went and locked us out of the house. Be Silent, can I spend the night at yours? But then again I'll have to sneak in late cuz I plan to go for the GNL Zamba, Navio unplugged tonight at Silk. Wait, I have to call actual Silk goers to ask how much things are and if I can have company.
Today's BHH and I can't wait to see y'all there. Especially 'Internet Jjajja'. Dude had better be a hot Jjajja or else! You know there are old bazungu that are actually hot. I met one once and we chatted for a bit and had a great laugh only to find out later from his friend that he was 52!!!! All along I thought he was at most 35! So, Internet Jjajja had better be good looking. Chanel can't afford to be stuck with a rich man whom she's waiting for to die and then also not be good looking. I'm out.
Yesterday, when I walked into the office everyone's jaw dropped. I wore a dress mind you that was just an inch or two above the knees. That's not exactly kimansulo now is it? I don't get people in Uganda, you have to dress decent all the time? Just because my skirts and dresses are longer than the knees doesn't mean I can't be adventurous enough to try a sorta mini? Ok fine, fine, so it was riding up with every step I took and it was kinda form-fitting (tight to be exact) but still, it wasn't indecent. Am I protesting far too much? Sigh. I give up. I mansula'd yesterday and then I got so busy that I couldn't even open a blog to read. Imagine I didn't get to get up and walk around the office to show off like I'd planned. To make matters worse, I'd come in late and walked in on a staff meeting talking about, you guessed it, late-coming. People need to cut me a break.
I feel like I'm on pressure to 'share what's on my mind' like facebook puts it. What more is on my mind? I have nowhere to sleep tonight because my housemate went and locked us out of the house. Be Silent, can I spend the night at yours? But then again I'll have to sneak in late cuz I plan to go for the GNL Zamba, Navio unplugged tonight at Silk. Wait, I have to call actual Silk goers to ask how much things are and if I can have company.
Today's BHH and I can't wait to see y'all there. Especially 'Internet Jjajja'. Dude had better be a hot Jjajja or else! You know there are old bazungu that are actually hot. I met one once and we chatted for a bit and had a great laugh only to find out later from his friend that he was 52!!!! All along I thought he was at most 35! So, Internet Jjajja had better be good looking. Chanel can't afford to be stuck with a rich man whom she's waiting for to die and then also not be good looking. I'm out.
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